That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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