3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
