I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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