There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
