My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
is that a dick in a sweater?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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