im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
