I'm really into asian looking animals
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
