she was so not down for the gang bang
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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