You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
