I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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