would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
