ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
The adults are the big ones right?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
