3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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