Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's never too late to be topless.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
