In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
