Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
