the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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