didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
