I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I think i peed on brittanys purse
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
