Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
