he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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