Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
