She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize