Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
