She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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