I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
