i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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