**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
