I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
