The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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