I'm really into asian looking animals
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
