Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
