I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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