whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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