i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
