i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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