So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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