office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
