just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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