If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We had to coat check the pizza.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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