Where did you get a picture of my penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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