I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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