if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
