Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i out mim tonsoeep
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