we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
