Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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