so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
