I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
