TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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