There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
