Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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