i think i have herpe
just one?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
