he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
She even gives head with a lisp.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
