I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
