Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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