I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
