What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
