Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
