Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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