Heybabeimwearingurpanties
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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