I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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