I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
i've created a new STD.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
