I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
