There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
