i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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