No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
