Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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