I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
